Usually when you have an article written about you for a magazine you receive a copy for your approval. I am happy to trust journalists to interview and write as it is not one of my favorite past times, especially writing about myself is something I find challenging. Often I have had experience of being interviewed and the article appears to have distorted my words or plays with the truth a little. Once in a while however you feel that you and your words, thoughts and feelings have been captured so that any reader can get a deep sense of the topic and person.

When Lynn from this magazine was preparing the article for the December issue, certain events happened in her life and she was unable to deliver on the promised pdf file. The issue was delayed in being published and even although she had reassured everyone that all was in hand, the magazine went to press and I had not seen the proof file. Wow that is a hell of a risk to take I thought. My process was a moment or two of logical processing then I went with my gut feeling. My intuition told me that if I put my trust in Lynn she would follow through. However one always is left with a tiny bit of apprehension until you have read the whole piece. Have a look and tell me what you think.   page 56-57  Was it worth trusting and taking a risk?

A coaching/ or coaching supervision package is being offered for one free session followed by 4 reduced price sessions. Apply during International Coaching Week to claim your sessions.

International Coaching Week is a weeklong global celebration of the coaching profession held annually, during the first full week in February. First held in 1999 it is a designated time each year for coaches to make a contribution to the coaching profession and also an opportunity to communicate the value of working with a professional coach and help everyone better understand what coaching is all about.

” I love my profession and the people that I work with inspire me daily. I would like to share the possibilities that coaching or coaching supervision can open you up to”

“When we are no longer able to change a situation,
we are challenged to change ourselves.”

~ Viktor Frankl – from Man’s Search For Meaning

If you are up against an unmovable deadline to make a payment against a loan and nothing seems possible to achieve, then ask yourself what else could I do? Who else can advise me ? Where can I turn to to find understanding?

Look inside and ask yourself about the avoidance tactics that you have been holding onto? We all do it—- add an extra payment on the credit card and hope that by magic it won’t show on the next statement. How often do you delay actually having a really, really crucial conversation? Who did you purposely ignore when their advice annoyed you?

Can you stand up and take responsibility for who you are, what you did or didn’t do and admit to being human?

20^th -22^nd April 2012

 Bowles Learning Centre, near Tunbridge Wells TN39LW

This a weekend for busy coaches or others from related professions, who would like to spend sometime for themselves, in a relaxed atmosphere. this is no tight regime, no early morning sessions just time to spend with yourself.  A pre-retreat call is offered to discuss and design this time, just for you.

There are no beginners nor experienced mindfulness practitioners, we are all students.

As  a Retreat Coach  I have experience in leading Mindful Exercises and would love to share these with others. I am  also a student of the “ Seasons of Change”  a wonderful programme which offers us the chance to view our personal transitions through nature and the seasons.

Mindfulness is a hot topic in coaching. Experts increasingly recognise that developing mindfulness skills is an effective way to improve performance, reduce stress, enhance emotional intelligence, increase life satisfaction, and develop leadership skills.

The Benefits of Mindfulness for Coaches

• Facilitates empathy, compassion, and unconditional positive regard.
• Allows you to stay focused and present, even when your client is not.

• Helps you stay grounded, centred and composed, even in the midst of clients’   emotional turmoil
• Enables a healthy attitude to outcomes: neither complacent nor overly-attached.
• Helps you maintain direction and focus in coaching.
• Increases your skills at observing your clients’ responses.
• Allows you to model and share the practice with clients.

The Retreat Weekend costs £360.00 .

Early Bird Price by 20^th February £350.00 plus a free Indian Head Massage

Private ensuite facilities for minimum of 10 people

Full board including two course meals, refreshments and dietary requirements catered for

Private facilities for group activities, seminar room, lounge, bar

Heated swimming pool, area for yoga, sacred space, chapel and private woodlands

Wi-Fi access

The company of an experienced facilitator, coach supervisor

Optional extras; guided walk through local countryside 2-3 Hours £30.00

Holistic Indian Head Massage                                                 £30.00

Join us for a relaxing, restful break.

JP outlined his role in which he handled Business Development Cases working with the complexities of multi-organisational negotiations, budgets and PCT contracts. It was clear that he enjoyed innovation and being involved in projects in which he could gain direct patient feedback.

These were areas for consideration in our initial sessions.

Email organisation.
“I tend to file most documents electronically and rely on my email inbox as a historic record for work purposes. However this is not ideal and I do spend time trawling through before finding what I need.”

Confidence
“I think having more confidence in the work I produce would be helpful. Due to wanting to ensure that I limit mistakes I tend to over analyze and so much longer.
Particular meeting situations I will hold back in terms of contribution, this may be in more high profile meetings however a point that may require attention.”

Study
“I am currently study two degree modules, Human Biology and Working for Health, a look at illness and health in relation to environment, stress etc. Although my results have been consistent so far, I could achieve more and initially this can be down to fitting the study time in and around other parts of life”

In exploring these areas, it became clear that in fact he needed no more than a space to clarify his thoughts and by the end of our first session he was ready to take steps. Such a routine chore of e-mail managing is a very common complaint with managers everywhere. For JP however although it could appear a small, organisational exercise, it was a major part of his complex job. He was indeed overloaded with about 2000 emails clogging up his inbox. With the end of the year contracts needing agreement something had to be done.
Sadly the assumption that we all have mystically acquired such electronic organisational skills is very misguided but by being willing to ask an administrator for help he got a tailor-made induction and is now hitting the milestones that he set for himself. At the last count he is down to 900 and winning. JP’s had one resounding strength that came through in that he was indeed liked and respected by his peers. Building rapport easily with his team and feeling secure in his communications served him well. Although there may be a general need in the team to have e-mail handling reviewed perhaps we highlighted an area to be addressed.

Overly concerned about his time consuming need to check details in his reports, was assisted by the questions.

“How do you relate to details? How does this serve your department?”

JP was in fact contributing to a team that had a noteworthy reputation for accuracy and that as part of that team his precision did a huge service not a disservice to the standards of the department. My client in fact was an amenable, conscientious, highly respected member of the team!
Self doubt also had fuelled his concerns in not taking an active role in meetings but he did in fact realise that he was considered knowledgeable in certain fields and in fact contributed with no reserve in these areas. Remembering that he had spent a short time in his job role allowed him to view the opportunities that time and experience would bring.

The final issue was that challenge of working, commuting and trying to study for a degree. JP did have deadlines to meet and often felt under pressure. In reviewing his study regime, his learning style and other out of work commitments, JP came up with two actions that he could put in place. By our second session he had started studying on the train commute, booked some time off and also started researching his official study day allocation.

With the J P’s annual appraisal due our attention switched to his possible career path. Looking at his areas of strength and where he found most fulfilment from, we came up with
1. the type of projects he would like to work on
2. the skills and knowledge base he wanted to develop

“What are you assuming that your boss knows about you?”
“What do you think he should know about you?”

JP’s self awareness was now sharper as he listed all his areas of growth in the first year in post!

The outcome was a great review and an invitation to become involved in projects that absolutely ticked all the boxes and a boss who now really knew the strengths of this senior manager.

In conclusion, my client was much clearer on

• The difference between mentoring and coaching
• Mentoring allowed resource exchange, discussion on operational issues and time to learn from a person within the organisation
• Coaching helped put things in context and stimulated action which was very timely
• Threw up extraordinarily powerful questions which offered much deeper thinking
• An outside confidant stimulated action instead of procrastination and helped look through the eyes of others

JP will now happily recommend coaching to colleagues and he was most stimulated by the question ——-

“How do people perceive you?”

How do you feel about those who do not hold down productive employment?

Who do you know that would love to be occupied even in unpaid community work?

I know of many who have lost their jobs or are terrified as to what next year may bring. Losing your job used to be about professional status but nowadays we accept that it is all about the loss of earnings. Millions of people worldwide are faced with no income or low income. How can we use the huge skill pool to help support and benefit our communities?

Yes it is soul destroying to see some of the best trained , experienced people unable to find work. In Greece, executives and college professors are driving taxis to make a living. Yesterday I read about pensioners who are better off than their children who are adults trying to support a family of three children.

Perhaps we must return to the barter system whereby we can trade our talents and skills to serve someone who in return can offer us their unique service.

I was asking myself these questions the other day about what I could offer the guy that I would like to have repair my garden fence. I know he has problems with his teenage son. Could I barter my coaching skills, mediation skills, parenting skills?

What could I offer the three elderly gentleman at the end of the road who grow the most wonderful vegetables? Perhaps I could offer to cook hot soup for them this winter.

It is surprising how resourceful we are when we dig deep into what we can offer. I invite you to think about what you could offer in return for a service that you require.

Ninety-eight per cent of sunlight enters through the eyes, and 2% through the skin. The 2% on the skin is important because that is the only way your body can develop vitamin D which is essential for calcium production to make strong bones and strong teeth. Remember in the summer we heard how little vitamin D some people produce as they have blocked ultraviolet sunlight reaching their skin.

To enjoy a short winter holiday in the sun is wonderful if you can afford it. The discovery of light therapy and being able to reproduce real daylight in lamps offers great relief at home. With this natural method, you can find a perfect vitality. Your body needs 30 minutes of sunlight a day. Two hours a day is ideal. However, in 48 hours all the energy you receive from the sun is depleted. The best thing to do when you have long cloudy periods when the sun doesn’t come through is to use full spectrum light bulbs. A full spectrum light is the closest thing we have to real sunlight. Using a full spectrum light for about six hours a day is equivalent to 30 minutes of sunlight.

However, just to lighten up the topic, traditionally and historically there have always been festivals that celebrate light; Diwali, Winter Solstice, Hanukkah, Christmas, to name but a few. These are such important celebrations which encourage us to lighten our lives by the use of candles, fireworks or fairy lights but also to illuminate our spirits and lighten our hearts.

Winter Solstice rituals have been with us for thousands of years, begun at the dawn of agriculture among people who depended upon the return of the sun. Many of these holidays celebrate light literally, but for many, there is also the symbolic meaning of light.  For people all over the world, these holidays must remind us that darkness must yield to light. The sun does come back, and spring will follow winter.

We can help the process by caring about each other and living our life by creating some brightness on a personal level. Appreciating this miracle of light can encourage us to bring the light to the dark places in ourselves and in our world even when we think we cannot. It asks us to continue to shine when there seems not enough. Let us all be a part of this Festival of Light sharing the light in relevant and thoughtful ways, and in doing this we enter our festive season.

When Life is good but there is a well of tears inside.

December is perhaps the most “ambivalent” month of the year for people.   You may sense ambivalence  in that we look forward to the winter celebrations but dread the cost, the mayhem and hustle and bustle that goes along with it.  The religious context of Christmas elates you as it has done in the past but the glitter and senseless commercialism makes your soul ache.

These are pretty obvious emotional dilemmas but more of us  may admit to not really wanting to be part of the festive season. Life may be great otherwise; we manage and even enjoy the changing season but Christmas can often mean that we go through the motions hiding the deep sense of sadness.

So using every memory of joy at Christmas will help to sustain us but often the memories of happy children and the noise of new toys can be overtaken by the memory of loved ones who have suffered and died. Loss can be with us everyday of the year but it seems to be magnified under the Christmas tree lights and glittering tinsel.

None of us really wants to play “humbug” and certainly we don’t really want to be alone. We may enjoy the peace and quiet if we do spend Christmas Day in the warmth of our own home but human contact is so essential to warm the heart and soothe the soul.There are so many disappointed people this year who have been devastated by  the financial crisis,  are unable to be with friends and family, are suffering from lack of heat and lack of love.

What can we offer to those who hold a deep pool of tears?

Count your blessings? Support those around us and extend your Christmas to someone who is not going to be home for the festivities. Give hope and inspiration through looking outward to those who are turning inwards. The human spirit shines in times of adversity.

So keep in mind that you do have the people that love and care about you around you and that there are people out there that don’t even have that or their loved ones are in another country and can’t get home. Some of us are blessed more than others, look at the positive and throw away the negative. Negative feelings and thoughts are a downward spiral like a black hole it sucks you in and then won’t let you go. Go help out at some where or just help your neighbour with something, but don’t let this time of year get you down. It’s only a day that comes and goes just like the rest and you are not abnormal if you don’t feel the same way that other people around you feel this time of year. I do wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year and spread the care and love around!

 By Ilya Pozin |  @ilyaNeverSleeps   | Nov 28, 2011

I couldn’t find a way to send this other than copy and paste so please note that I did not write it.

The ability to motivate employees is one of the greatest skills an entrepreneur can possess. Two years ago, I realized I didn’t have this skill. So I hired a CEO who did.

Josh had 12 years in the corporate world, which included running a major department at Comcast. I knew he was seasoned, but I was still skeptical at first. We were going through some tough growing pains, and I thought that a lack of cash would make it extremely difficult to improve the company morale.

I was wrong.

With his help and the help of the great team leaders he put in place, Josh not only rebuilt the culture, but also created a passionate, hard-working team that is as committed to growing and improving the company as I am.

Here are nine things I learned from him:

Be generous with praise. Everyone wants it and it’s one of the easiest things to give. Plus, praise from the CEO goes a lot farther than you might think. Praise every improvement that you see your team members make. Once you’re comfortable delivering praise one-on-one to an employee, try praising them in front of others.  

Get rid of the managers. Projects without project managers? That doesn’t seem right! Try it. Removing the project lead or supervisor and empowering your staff to work together as a team rather then everyone reporting to one individual can do wonders. Think about it. What’s worse than letting your supervisor down? Letting your team down! Allowing people to work together as a team, on an equal level with their co-workers, will often produce better projects faster. People will come in early, stay late, and devote more of their energy to solving problems.  

Make your ideas theirs. People hate being told what to do. Instead of telling people what you want done; ask them in a way that will make them feel like they came up with the idea. “I’d like you to do it this way” turns into “Do you think it’s a good idea if we do it this way?”  

Never criticize or correct. No one, and I mean no one, wants to hear that they did something wrong. If you’re looking for a de-motivator, this is it. Try an indirect approach to get people to improve, learn from their mistakes, and fix them. Ask, “Was that the best way to approach the problem? Why not? Have any ideas on what you could have done differently?” Then you’re having a conversation and talking through solutions, not pointing a finger.

 Make everyone a leader. Highlight your top performers’ strengths and let them know that because of their excellence, you want them to be the example for others. You’ll set the bar high and they’ll be motivated to live up to their reputation as a leader.  

Take an employee to lunch once a week. Surprise them. Don’t make an announcement that you’re establishing a new policy. Literally walk up to one of your employees, and invite them to lunch with you. It’s an easy way to remind them that you notice and appreciate their work.  

Give recognition and small rewards. These two things come in many forms: Give a shout out to someone in a company meeting for what she has accomplished. Run contests or internal games and keep track of the results on a whiteboard that everyone can see. Tangible awards that don’t break the bank can work too. Try things like dinner, trophies, spa services, and plaques. 

Throw company parties. Doing things as a group can go a long way. Have a company picnic. Organize birthday parties. Hold a happy hour. Don’t just wait until the holidays to do a company activity; organize events throughout the year to remind your staff that you’re all in it together.

Share the rewards—and the pain. When your company does well, celebrate. This is the best time to let everyone know that you’re thankful for their hard work. Go out of your way to show how far you will go when people help your company succeed. If there are disappointments, share those too. If you expect high performance, your team deserves to know where the company stands. Be honest and transparent.

The signs are usually blatantly obvious to those friends and family around you. You are tired, moody, and especially short tempered, not eating or sleeping properly and having extra booze to sustain you! Life throws up the high stress situations that we recognise; divorce, separation, and family illness, moving house or job. More recently the list has grown and in time austerity we are faced with long periods of worry. Months often pass before we learn whether we are being offered redundancy, losing our job, career and total financial security. The huge pressures being carried when you see your business failing, house being re-possessed or the rent going unpaid.
It is a huge challenge to put on the brave face and pretend to family and the outside world, that you “are managing” when you are really floundering.
Remember the expression “Stop the World – I want to get off” or “Let’s forget Christmas because it always shows us the cracks!”
So here is your chance to do that. Let our experienced retreat coaches support you while you step aside for a few days to restock and regain focus. It does not need to cost a fortune – you don’t need to feel guilty about spending time looking after you. This is a break you absolutely deserve.

Gift Vouchers available on site